Woe is me

Reality is finally sinking in. In one week I will no longer be working for the sheriff's dept. It's bitter-sweet really; this job is my comfort zone and financial security (well it was asteayd paycheck). We were told a year ago that we might not have a job anymore and that has been the story since then, and yet every week that went by and we were still here that fact slipped further and further from our minds. And now it is hitting me like a brick wall. It is official. I can't take unemployment, nor do I particularly want to. And I have been job hunting for a little while now and find that every day it gets harder. Every time I open my email with no new messages and every call I don't receive makes me feel more and more defeated.

But I'm trying to stay optimistic, as hard as it is to do. Originally I wanted a new job so I could afford t move out. However, the more pressing issue is now just being able to pay my bills. I hope I find something soon.