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hello december!

I'm so excited tomorrow is December! I am more than ready for it. December means I have finals, which means I will have a break, which means I can spend more time with AJ, which means I won't be so stressed even though I will be getting more into the wedding planning stuff. So I say hooray for December! AJ and I got our Christmas tree yesterday which is awesome. I just wish we weren't so broke so I could get a big, monsterous tree!!! But I still do love our happy little christmas tree and can't wait to get some lights and ornaments on it.

On Saturday we went to Apple Hill with my folks and Michael and Asheena and it was G.O.R.G.E.O.U.S up there!!! But it was crowded...very crowded! The trees were awesome but pretty expensive, so we just helped everyone else pick out trees. It was sooo windy and cold, but sunny!!!!

Well, not much time to blog tonight since I have to prepare 3 portfolios! Yikes! Here is a picture from Apple Hill. I love Aj! He is adorable!

Gobble Gobble

Thanksgiving is over for me- or so it feels. My family's annual Thanksgiving Tahoe vacation has come and gone. It was so nice to get away for a few days and not have to worry about work or school or wedding stuff. Oh wait. I did do homework, and I did do wedding stuff. Well, 2 out of 3 is ok I guess. It was beautiful at the lake, and there was some a little bit of snow on the ground, but boy was it C.O.L.D! I took the Nikon up with me in hopes of getting the cliche lake shots and maybe do some other stuff so on Saturday I woke up at about 5:30 and drove down to the lake. It was sooo cold and I wasn't well prepared- flip flops.... anyways it was cold. I got my tripod and camera all set up and was waiting for the magic to unfold (which felt like a few hours but was really only about an hour and a half) and while getting some landscapes I met the cutest dog ever and his scruffy owner. The dog was actual a boxer puppy named Cornelius Clark :) So as they walked away I snapped this picture. Cornelius was having a grand time sliding around on the ice.

By the time I left the beach I couldn't feel any of my extremities, but I did however get my cliche shots. On Sunday I was down at the marina getting some shots of the boats and docks and what not when the camera broke. One minute it worked and the next it didn't- stupid kit lens! So that was the end of my photographs for Tahoe which was very disheartening. But we still had fun playing pool, board games, scarfing down food, and watching football. I LOVE our tradition!

Other than that there is not much news. AJ and I returned home to find our bathroom sopping wet. Apartently there was a plumbing issue before we moved in that they thought was fixed. Which we found out today was not fixed. As much as that sucks it felt so right to come home to our happy little apartment. Normally after our family vacations I go back to my house and Aj goes back to his- but this time WE went back to OUR home. I love living with Aj. And I love being engaged; it is so much fun!!! Here is an old picture of Aj I took awhile back- he was giving me 'pensive'.

The only sad thing about coming home this time was that we took Moose back to my parents. My poor girl was getting restless in our apartment and we didn't feel it would be right to keep her pent up when she was so used to having 5 acres to roam. So I miss her a lot- even when she would keep us up at night by pawing our faces or biting our feet. I thought of her today when I was going through some older pictures and found this one. She is a weird little cat!

And that's it for now. Not too much on the wedding front. Asheena picked out her dress and Katie is going tomorrow to pick out hers. I changed my colors for the last time and we even know what we want our cake to look like. Next step is finalizing the caterer and dj (not my area) and the photographer (my area) which should happen later this week. I'm so excited to have found someone so passionate about photography!!

Peace easy lemon squeezies!

Something Borrowed

I'm sitting in class, I-Pod on and everyone around me turned off. Open lab is the best part of my monday nights because it is my "alone time". I get to sit and edit pictures, play on photoshop, listen to music, and just be. However, right now I want to be home, crashed on the couch with AJ and Moose watching a movie. Living on our own has made the last two weeks very interesting. It's an intimate way of not having much privacy, but I love it! We are starting to finally get settled in and almost all our stuff is unpacked. We've put together our Ikea furniture and filled the pantry and even moved in the kitty-cat, and we all seem to be adjusting quite nicely. My favorite thing is making dinner or lunch for Aj and I and then he insists on doing the dishes... it is so sweet- and I wonder how long it will last :) . His mom bought us a g-r-e-a-t table and it's nice to have a place to sit and eat and talk. We do lots of talking now that we don't have TV or Internet. I thought this would be harder as I have my weekly line-up of shows: Amazing Race, Project Runway, The Office.... But when I go back to my parents house to do laundry I get time to catch up on those while my clothes are in the wash. I've been spending a lot of time in our tiny kitchen- yesterday I put up this little rail thing to hang stuff on, and I like to keep things tidy in there. Oh! And I'm growing basil! I was skeptical when I bought the little package from Ikea- it was a super dried-out, hockey puck of dirt and you just add water and sprinkle the little seeds on. It sprouted the next day and continues to grow like crazy. I can't wait to harvest my little crop of herbs!

Our complex is pretty nice for the area we are in and the price we are paying. There are so many trees that we feel like we are in Tahoe. The slightest breeze makes all the branches and leaves rustle and you can't hear any traffic or anything, it's really pretty cozy and hidden. However, we do have two new neighbors that just moved in and already we are a little annoyed. The guy upstairs, Bobby, seems pretty nice and when we met him he told us two of his friends were moving into apartments next to ours. This seemed ok since he was around our age and whatnot. Well, Sarah moved in just across from us and we know all her business already. She has a boyfriend of sorts who stays there a lot (not sure if he lives there) and they like to fight. A lot. Loudly. Come to think of it, I think everyone she associates with is loud- they had people over and we could hear them clear as day! She also has a yappy dog that I borderline feel sorry for when it's not barking. I keep an eye on the peephole for Sarah because i

t entertains me quite a bit.

Yesterday, I called the cops on another person in our complex- we

ll, rather her baby's daddy (I kid you not). Daddy and a woman he was with were stopping Mommy at the gate and they were shouting, really getting into. They were threatening eachother and the women were about to exchange fists a couple times- all in front of their kid, 7 year old boy. Poor kid. He was the only reason I ended up calling the Sheriff's Dept. Well, and the fact that a week ago someone was murdered at the complex right next to ours (two neighbors having a dispute). It put me on edge and I figured rather be safe then sorry. Dad's parting words were, "Shut the F*** up you F***ing Kyke." Talk about father of the year.

In other, more happy news, progress is being made on the wedding front. Dress- check! Venue- check! Colors- check! Photographer- almost check! I still have to get in touch with her to work out the details, but I'm thoroughly excited to be employing the services

of a fellow photography student. Sara G's ex-roommate, Gladys, has so much passion that I feel inspired in my own photography! I've read through her blog and fell in love with her spirit as well as her photography. I can't wait to get in front of her camera! I think we will mesh well because rumor has it that she changed her wedding date solely based on a certain photographer's availability! Now that's what I'm talking about; Us photographers are picky! So thats the next thing on my list along with getting the bridesmaids dresses confirmed- which should happen soon. My mom is on top of the catering situation- it was too stressful for me to handle so I handed her the reins. Aj is on top of cake design- his sole task! And supposedly it is coming along, but I'll believe it when I see it.

School is going decently; I wont be earning an A or a B in my nutrition class, but I'm not too torn up about that. My photo classes are going swimmingly, except that my beginning digital class is soooooo boring. I know there is always more to learn, but seriously.... Well, I won't get into it. But why a 5th year photo student has to take a beginning class after taking intermediate classes is beyond me. My color class is a-w-e-s-o-m-e! We are moving into more haptic-expression assignments and I'm thrilled! I hate technical assignments- I don't want restrictions!!!! Our latest assignment is to express how we perceive time by using photography- it can be manipulate or straight. :) :) :) I can't wait to shoot! It would be so nice to have my own camera..... sigh...

Ok, well I'm just about to sign the roll sheet so I can get out of here for the night. I'm glad I've used my time in such a productive manner! Oh, almost forgot to show this guy- I drive by him in Wilton all the time and finally stopped, braved the speeding cars, and snapped a picture. So random!

something old, something new

I'm so bad at updates and I don't even have a good excuse. Good things have happened and bad things have happened and more good things have happened and here I am. Eppie's went extremely well; I came in 21st in my division which I was just happy I finished. Rocky Votolato came and played the house show which was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! He is such a cool guy, very down to earth. It was so awesome to get to talk to someone I greatly admire and then to here him perform was beyond words. Even my parents loved it! And as amazing as it was, the house show is no longer the highlight of my year. A week ago tomorrow I will have been engaged for 1 week! (It already feels like a lot longer though.)

Already I am overwhelmed by all the tasks that I have to do and on a timeline no less. Pick a date, pick a place, create a guest list, select colors, find a dress, and bridesmaid dresses, choose bridesmaids, pick music, catering, photography, etc etc etc. The list goes on for every impossibly small detail. Who knew so much planning went into one single day.

But aside from all the stress of planning I'm still getting used to the idea of being engaged. My ring is so beautiful. It's simple but a little different- AJ knows my taste :)

I could tell the story of how it went down, but you really had to be there.... so instead I will move on to other news. School and work are dominating my life. This makes planning anything very difficult. Working at Panera is not where I envisioned myself but I am trying to make the best of it. I'm working my butt off and it's beginning to be recognized. Already I am making as much as the employees who have been there for 2 years and I will soon be moving onto the catering side of the cafe. This is supposed to come with a hefty pay raise, regular hours, and weekends off- but it might be a little while until that happens.

School is also going so-so. My classes are as follows: Monday 5-10PM Beginning Digital (which sucks because so far I know 98% of what we have been going over) Tuesday 5-10PM Digital Imaging (the course itself is pretty interesting but the guy I have to sit next to is really driving my crazy. Do I really need to see every picture he has taken and every manipulated version he has saved of it?) Wednesday 5-10PM Color Photography (by far my favorite- heavy emphasis on color theory but annoying guy is in this class too along with an old senile lady who asks endless questions), Nutrition and Management- online courses (sucks because they are so much work). This schedule mixed with my work schedule leaves me with minimal free time and since I like to fill that free time with ANTM, Project Runway, and the Office I have hardly anytime to plan a wedding. Ughhh, I might have to give up one of my shows...

Since I'm diving back into photography I suppose it wouldn't hurt to post some images.

Until next time.....

Prologue

I feel like my life has played out as if it were a book. Two chapters have been fully written sent to the editor but no revisions can be made. The next chapter is still unknown, but there is a lot of hope for what it could hold. I’ve been dreading this, but I knew it was coming and as things often do, it gets here before you know it.
Chapter One: High School and everything preceding it has all been wrapped up in one big ball of memory. Good times, bad times, sad times, and mostly awkward times. I think everyone’s high school years are roughly the same when it comes down to it. Remove the names and the people, places, and experiences are all the same at heart. We laugh and we cry and we think of things in exaggerations. If I don’t go to Senior Ball with this guy my life will be over! If he doesn’t ask me out I will die! I can’t believe my hair is so bad on picture day; I will never live this down! And what did any of it matter? No employer has ever asked me about how perfect my hair was on picture day, and my dates never asked who I went to Senior Ball with. The memories are fuzzy and distant for those who experienced them. For me, I wonder if they even happened or if I only imagined they did. Either way, it doesn’t really matter.
Chapter Two: This encompasses everything from graduation to last month. My first failed attempt at junior college, my first ‘real’ job at Panera, and my first heartbreak were all milestones that make this chapter so important. The first year of this era was similar to my Chapter One and serves as a transition period. I experienced my first love in a way- I had loved a person before but this was a different kind and it was the first person I believed loved me back… There was a month that closed out that year that was wrapped up in a best friend’s betrayal and losing other friends along the way- losing dead weight I suppose. It also was reminiscent of chapter one in that I thought I would never trust anyone again and that I would be sad and lonely for life. But life did go on and good things happened. The next three years were thus far the most interesting, exciting, and intoxicating I’ve had. And for that reason it’s hard to let this chapter end and move onto the next. That’s why I’m writing this now and not a month ago when the chapter actually ended…I’m hesitant to let it go.
I was cleaning up my room today and in an old cardboard box that has never been unpacked since I first left for Colorado and returned. In that box was an old paper bag filled with notes, papers, and memories I took with me on my last day as a temp., my last day before I left for Colorado. Those days came back in a flood of memories- getting in trouble for talking too much, writing each other cute little notes, shamelessly flirting with one of the photo guys, and promising to always keep in touch. Those days were amazing. I was reckless and young and doing exactly what a teenaged college dropout should be doing. But then an opportunity that I had passed on before came around again and I wasn’t about to make the same mistake twice, so I left. It was one of the hardest decisions I had to make and it may seem simple on the surface, but it’s so hard for me to listen to my head and not my heart. But both pointed me eastward.
Then I returned and everything changed. It’s hard to move out and then move back in your old house again. It stops feeling like home in a way. Anyways, things kept moving forward and I found myself back at the sheriff’s dept and back in the company of a certain photo guy. And that’s when life really started moving in fast forward. Time stood still and went by so fast at the same time and the next thing I knew I had two weeks left at work. Mentally, that is when this chapter ends.
Chapter Three: The past month has been difficult emotionally. The job I had isn’t in itself what is so hard to let go of- it’s everything that being in that place has given me and I feel now, as if I never gave it its due. I feel as if I owe it something or should pay tribute somehow. That job gave me friends and made me realize which friends to grow on without. It gave me endless memories and the beginning of a life with someone. It’s hard to let that job go. It’s hard to let that chapter end. But now a new one really begins and the transition period is nearly over. I have a new job (which is my old job), and it will provide me with new things- like the money for rent for an apartment. It will give me something new to talk about, or write about, and it too will come with both new and familiar experiences.

I’m excited to see what else this chapter has in store for me. With Eppie’s tomorrow and Rocky Votolato around the corner it’s already beginning to look like the start of a very interesting era.

Woe is me

Reality is finally sinking in. In one week I will no longer be working for the sheriff's dept. It's bitter-sweet really; this job is my comfort zone and financial security (well it was asteayd paycheck). We were told a year ago that we might not have a job anymore and that has been the story since then, and yet every week that went by and we were still here that fact slipped further and further from our minds. And now it is hitting me like a brick wall. It is official. I can't take unemployment, nor do I particularly want to. And I have been job hunting for a little while now and find that every day it gets harder. Every time I open my email with no new messages and every call I don't receive makes me feel more and more defeated.

But I'm trying to stay optimistic, as hard as it is to do. Originally I wanted a new job so I could afford t move out. However, the more pressing issue is now just being able to pay my bills. I hope I find something soon.